Saturday, 16 April 2016

Motherhood and friends

In the days and weeks, after giving birth you are plunged into becoming a Mother. It is all consuming. There are tears and some laughter and then normally more tears. Some days you feel like you are super Mum, you have it nailed. Sometimes you feel like a complete failure. It's on these days that we need our friends.

Motherhood and Friends

We expect our friends to know when we are at our lowest and need them. We expect them to understand. We expect them to turn up at the door with a pack of chocolate Hobnobs and for them to put the kettle on and just listen.

The problem is not all friends have experienced giving birth and becoming a Mother. Some friends just don't get it.

After giving birth to Bomber, my closest friend (She doesn't have children) told me that she completely understood that I needed friends around me that had shared this experience. Friends that could lend me the advice that I craved. Friends that could sympathise with my ever erratic hormonal state.

I was lucky, we went to NCT classes and this allowed me to meet an amazing group of friends that have been with me through it all and they still are. We have a shared bond of facing the unknown that is, being first time Mothers together.
I am also a member of an all ladies choir that was full of great friends already. They became much closer friends when I became a Mother.

I find myself surrounded by some great new friends. Friends that are all Mothers. Without knowing, they have helped me. They have accepted me for who I am. They have allowed me to talk when sometimes the words didn't even want to come out in the right order. They didn't judge me as a Mother. They didn't judge my hair, makeup or the clothes I was wearing. They just listened and more importantly gave me coffee and cake.

We go to cafes together. We go to baby groups together. We laugh together. We moan together. Surrounding yourself with friends that understand and just get it is vital in those early days and as I'm finding, even more, vital as the babies are growing up.

My close friend will have probably never have given a thought to the words she said to me that day and she will probably be surprised that I remember them, but I do. She never got jealous of me having new friends. This is the reason she will always be a great friend.


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