Maternity leave, is it the end?

Bomber and I went out today to the cafe for some dinner as we ate and I had a one sided chat about the wonders of eating pasta and trees (broccoli) I watched proud Mums arriving with their tiny new babies bundled up in their new prams. They were meeting up with each other in exactly the same place that I used to meet my new Mummy friends. I found myself having a slight tang of jealousy that they were just starting out as new Mums. I sat there and watched as they cooed over each others babies. I remembered sitting at the exact same table with my tiny new baby, feeling sleep deprived but really proud that I had got out of the house, with clean hair and a face of make-up. I remember feeling that 12 months maternity leave was a very long time, The truth is 12 months is not a long time and it goes with a blink of an eye. That's when it hit me, the sadness that my maternity leave is nearly over and my life is about to change. We have decided that I shall not be returning to work.

Our decision for me not to return to work was an easy one, Mr Bombers job is unpredictable. However, I have struggled emotionally with the fact I will not be returning to work. There is somehow a feeling that a job/career gives you an identity, it's integrated into who you are. Asking someone what they do for a living is part of normal conversation. I'm not really sure what I will give as an answer to that question.

Before Bomber arrived I will confess to wondering what it was that Mums did at home, but now after Bomber, I know. Well, I don't know as I wake up and then before I know it, it's 5.30pm. I've managed to drink half a cup of tea that has been microwaved 5 times and  I've eaten squished up discarded pieces of bread with cream cheese from a lovingly prepared platter of finger foods. Some days it can feel like a huge achievement to get two loads of washing in and if we are having a real good day I may just do the washing up. I know that I'm raising this amazing little human and it really doesn't matter if my day doesn't have a plan or I don't get the washing up done because he has become the most important thing in my life.

I have decided that this is not the end, it is just the start. The start of something new and exciting. Becoming a Mother is going to take my life in a completely different direction and I'm going to embrace it.

The next time someone asks me what I do for a living I will proudly tell them that I am a stay-at-home Mum.

Square Peg Mum