Thursday, 28 January 2016

Life before the baby, do you remember?

There was a life before the baby. Here are 5 situations that I would never have given any thought to when we were just two. Now we are three it just takes that little bit longer.



1. Going to the shops. Remember when you suddenly thought 'ooh I need to pop to the shop' and off you went in your car with the music of your choice blasting away. This cannot happen anymore. You still have that thought but then remember you have a baby, You have to dress the baby in appropriate outside clothes (no you cannot take him/her out in last nights babygrow people will think you cannot keep your shit together) and I can pretty much put my life on the line here and say that just as the baby is dressed, placed into a coat and locked and loaded into the car seat he/she will grin and do the biggest, loudest and smelliest shit you have ever had the pleasure to change.

2. Going to the toilet. Now this doesn't come into play until little ones are mobile. If you are one of the lucky parents this will be when they are around 18 months old. If you are really unlucky like me this will be when they are 5 months old. After suffering until Bomber was 7 months old, we made use of a playpen. HMP Baby was a very wise purchase, I can get at least 5 minutes of baby secure time.

3. Nights out. These are rare but they are also extremely stressful. One person is required to get ready at a time so the baby is occupied for sanity reasons. I'm always 2nd to get ready as it means Mr Bomber is not under my feet whilst I'm applying "the face" however I can guarantee he will appear with a crying baby the second I get out of the shower. Mega Dance hits of the 00's and baby blaring in unison! Oh, it's going to be a great night! We now have two stressed out parents. Mr. Bomber moaning he's holding a baby with his going out clothes on and SquarePegMum moaning she's trying to put a face on, so please just go and find him some snacks to keep him occupied for 3 minutes. We argue before we've left the house and in the car as well. It took two G&T's before we could communicate again.

4.Time with your partner. Say what? Who are you again? Babies are mini time lords that take up all of your time. In 12 months we have had one night out together without Bomber and it's been summed up in point 3. We got in at 4 am. I don't think Mr. Bomber remembers it.

5. Meals out. Remember going out to eat? Both eating your hot meal at the same time, oh those were the days. Eating out is risky you could be lucky and the baby will behave perfectly through the meal. They laugh and interact with other adults around them and everyone smiles and says how cute they are. There are times when the baby is not cute, they will scream. Loudly. Everyone will stare and make you feel like the worst parent in the world.
Restaurants with fancy table cloths are also out. Hello to wipeable surfaces. We have also developed our own restaurant rating system based on high chairs. We take into consideration type, cleanliness and ease of chair to the table. Who buys a highchair that you can't get anywhere near the table? 

Square Peg Mum
You Baby Me Mummy

A Bit Of Everything

4 comments:

  1. So true, so true, so true! I really miss the food stuff - eating out, eating together, heck just eating a meal while it is still hot using both a knife and fork would be a treat (baby currently 3 months old therefore I'm doing a lot of things single-handed at the moment). Great post, so true #TheList

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  2. These are all so true haha I am one of the lucky ones - my little one hasn't started walking yet so I do get private visits to the toilet! We are just starting to manage to eat meals together too! #TheList

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  3. Ah remember the days before constant interruptions, such heady days ;) Great post. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

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  4. #1...YES I've had that ALL the time...Or while shopping, baby does a poo! I was nodding along to all your points. Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

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