Thursday, 28 January 2016

Life before the baby, do you remember?

There was a life before the baby. Here are 5 situations that I would never have given any thought to when we were just two. Now we are three it just takes that little bit longer.



1. Going to the shops. Remember when you suddenly thought 'ooh I need to pop to the shop' and off you went in your car with the music of your choice blasting away. This cannot happen anymore. You still have that thought but then remember you have a baby, You have to dress the baby in appropriate outside clothes (no you cannot take him/her out in last nights babygrow people will think you cannot keep your shit together) and I can pretty much put my life on the line here and say that just as the baby is dressed, placed into a coat and locked and loaded into the car seat he/she will grin and do the biggest, loudest and smelliest shit you have ever had the pleasure to change.

2. Going to the toilet. Now this doesn't come into play until little ones are mobile. If you are one of the lucky parents this will be when they are around 18 months old. If you are really unlucky like me this will be when they are 5 months old. After suffering until Bomber was 7 months old, we made use of a playpen. HMP Baby was a very wise purchase, I can get at least 5 minutes of baby secure time.

3. Nights out. These are rare but they are also extremely stressful. One person is required to get ready at a time so the baby is occupied for sanity reasons. I'm always 2nd to get ready as it means Mr Bomber is not under my feet whilst I'm applying "the face" however I can guarantee he will appear with a crying baby the second I get out of the shower. Mega Dance hits of the 00's and baby blaring in unison! Oh, it's going to be a great night! We now have two stressed out parents. Mr. Bomber moaning he's holding a baby with his going out clothes on and SquarePegMum moaning she's trying to put a face on, so please just go and find him some snacks to keep him occupied for 3 minutes. We argue before we've left the house and in the car as well. It took two G&T's before we could communicate again.

4.Time with your partner. Say what? Who are you again? Babies are mini time lords that take up all of your time. In 12 months we have had one night out together without Bomber and it's been summed up in point 3. We got in at 4 am. I don't think Mr. Bomber remembers it.

5. Meals out. Remember going out to eat? Both eating your hot meal at the same time, oh those were the days. Eating out is risky you could be lucky and the baby will behave perfectly through the meal. They laugh and interact with other adults around them and everyone smiles and says how cute they are. There are times when the baby is not cute, they will scream. Loudly. Everyone will stare and make you feel like the worst parent in the world.
Restaurants with fancy table cloths are also out. Hello to wipeable surfaces. We have also developed our own restaurant rating system based on high chairs. We take into consideration type, cleanliness and ease of chair to the table. Who buys a highchair that you can't get anywhere near the table? 

Square Peg Mum
You Baby Me Mummy

A Bit Of Everything

Monday, 11 January 2016

The 5 stolen moments of adult time

31 years of just being me and now I'm down to the 5 stolen moments of adult time in my day.

1. When Mr Bomber is driving the car. We can only be 2 minutes from home but I can still squeeze a nap in. I can guarantee that I will fall into the deepest possible sleep and feel seriously shit for it.

2. When we've been to playgroup and he falls asleep in his car seat. Hello McD's coffee and Facebook.

3. Nap times at home. These are sporadic and I can be certain that if I NEED to do something Bomber will NOT nap. However if he does, I grab a cup of tea. He will wake up just as I breathe the silence in and no tea will have been drunk.


warming hands on mug of tea
I dream of a hot cup of tea

4. Shopping. If we go to town and Bomber falls asleep in his pram/sling. I will find anywhere to have a coffee, cake. This is sometimes risky as he can wake mid coffee, cake and I guarantee he will be angry, really angry as I'm not sharing my cake.

5. At night. Bomber has always been a good sleeper (I know don't hate me) This is tricky though as by 8pm I'm shattered. I want to spend time with Mr Bomber but I also want to update my blog, catch up on Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp oh and watch grown up TV. I'm quickly realising that staying up until 1am to squeeze all of this in is completely bonkers. It also makes me incredibly grumpy at the 7am wake up.

Square Peg Mum



New Mummy Blog

Friday, 8 January 2016

Maternity leave, is it the end?

Bomber and I went out today to the cafe for some dinner as we ate and I had a one sided chat about the wonders of eating pasta and trees (broccoli) I watched proud Mums arriving with their tiny new babies bundled up in their new prams. They were meeting up with each other in exactly the same place that I used to meet my new Mummy friends. I found myself having a slight tang of jealousy that they were just starting out as new Mums. I sat there and watched as they cooed over each others babies. I remembered sitting at the exact same table with my tiny new baby, feeling sleep deprived but really proud that I had got out of the house, with clean hair and a face of make-up. I remember feeling that 12 months maternity leave was a very long time, The truth is 12 months is not a long time and it goes with a blink of an eye. That's when it hit me, the sadness that my maternity leave is nearly over and my life is about to change. We have decided that I shall not be returning to work.


Lady with laptop

Our decision for me not to return to work was an easy one, Mr Bombers job is unpredictable. However, I have struggled emotionally with the fact I will not be returning to work. There is somehow a feeling that a job/career gives you an identity, it's integrated into who you are. Asking someone what they do for a living is part of normal conversation. I'm not really sure what I will give as an answer to that question.

Before Bomber arrived I will confess to wondering what it was that Mums did at home, but now after Bomber, I know. Well, I don't know as I wake up and then before I know it, it's 5.30pm. I've managed to drink half a cup of tea that has been microwaved 5 times and  I've eaten squished up discarded pieces of bread with cream cheese from a lovingly prepared platter of finger foods. Some days it can feel like a huge achievement to get two loads of washing in and if we are having a real good day I may just do the washing up. I know that I'm raising this amazing little human and it really doesn't matter if my day doesn't have a plan or I don't get the washing up done because he has become the most important thing in my life.

I have decided that this is not the end, it is just the start. The start of something new and exciting. Becoming a Mother is going to take my life in a completely different direction and I'm going to embrace it.

The next time someone asks me what I do for a living I will proudly tell them that I am a stay-at-home Mum.

Square Peg Mum


A Bit Of Everything